Your Wedding at Calvary and the Christian Church Rite
We are happy you have chosen to be married in your church. This is as it ought to be. God's people come to God's house for the holiest experiences of their lives. It is by the blessing of God and prayer, in God's house, that you sanctify the establishment of your home through the Christian wedding ceremony.
Your desire to be married in the Christian Church by a Christian Pastor(s) with a Christian marriage rite indicates that you want everything about your marriage to be different, distinctively and eternally different, as our Christian faith alone can make it. We assume that you will want to follow only those practices and procedures in your wedding that are in keeping with the Christian view of marriage and which are appropriate and recommended by Calvary Lutheran Church.
Since you are asking to be married at Calvary Lutheran Church, your marriage service will be a service of worship consistent with the Christian view of marriage as expressed in the Lutheran Book of Worship.
Please read through the pages of this booklet carefully and prayerfully. While there is much room for flexibility in your wedding, the following guidelines will make the planning of your wedding more enjoyable. Click here to download a wedding use request form.
Preliminary Decisions
The following matters with respect to the church should be decided by the bride and groom before going ahead with complete plans for the wedding:
The Wedding Date: Call the church office and speak to the Pastor(s) concerning the date and time for your wedding. This should be done as early as possible before the wedding to avoid any conflicts on the church schedule. Time for the rehearsal should be set at the time the wedding date is determined. The rehearsal normally is the night before the wedding. The rehearsal takes approximately 45 minutes.
The Organist: It is the responsibility of the couple to secure the organist/pianist for the wedding ceremony and know what their current fee is. An organist other than Calvary's organist will only be allowed to play for your wedding if he/she has talked to Calvary's Music Ministry Coordinator about the use of the Allen Organ. The Organist's fee is the responsibility of the couple.
Music and Soloist: The music used for a church wedding should create and sustain a worshipful mood. The wedding service is a religious service where the vows, prayers and music point to a Christ-centered marriage. All music must be approved by the Pastor(s)/Minister of Music. Securing the soloist and the related fees are the responsibility of the couple. Please get your music to the soloist in plenty of time before the wedding. Hymns may also be used during the wedding service.
The Wedding Coordinator: The Calvary Wedding Coordinator is required at all Sanctuary weddings to help the wedding run smoothly. The coordinator oversees the rehearsal. The coordinator is responsible for opening the church on the wedding day in time for pictures and the arrival of the wedding party. It will be necessary to make an appointment with the coordinator as soon as possible to discuss particular arrangements/needs/desires.
The Marriage Counseling Sessions
Marriage is a Holy Estate, ordained of God and to be held in honor by all. It’s also a very serious business for your future happiness.
In order that those couples who are married at Calvary Lutheran may have a clear understanding of what a Christian marriage involves, and some careful time to prepare for the unique challenges of marriage, pre-marital counseling is required. The counseling sessions explain the significance of a Christ-centered marriage and involve all aspects of married life. These sessions can be arranged at the convenience of the pastor(s) and the couple to be married. In most cases Calvary's pastor(s) will officiate at your wedding. If you wish another pastor(s) to share in the service, or to preside at the service, it is important that you set up a meeting with Calvary's pastor(s) to discuss what may be possible. You should do this as soon as possible after you begin planning the wedding so the date and other important decisions can be made with the pastor’s assistance.
As part of the pre-marriage counseling program, you can expect to take the PREPARE Inventory. It is a widely respected computerized inventory that we use to get to the heart of things. It is not a test to screen out couples or judge the probability of your marriage success. But it does help us have a frank and honest discussion about the unique strengths and challenges facing each individual couple. Expect to spend an hour and about $30 to take the inventory, and then two sessions of about 2 hours to carefully discuss it. You will enjoy it.
Minnesota law gives a substantial discount on the marriage license if the couple has spent at least 12 hours in pre-marriage counseling. Calvary’s current program is about 4 hours, so it alone will not qualify you for the discount. However do ask the pastor to suggest other marriage programs or retreats that, along with the meetings with the pastor, will qualify for the discount and will even better prepare you for marriage.
The License
Please drop off the license at the church one week prior to the wedding. The wedding license must be purchased in Minnesota if the wedding is held at Calvary.
The Wedding Rehearsal
Most rehearsals take place the evening prior to the wedding, although an alternate time may be arranged with the Pastor(s). Rehearsal is important to insure that all is in order and that each person understands their role. It is therefore important that all participants are present and on time. These include, besides the couple, the parents of the bride and groom, the best man and maid/matron of honor, the bridesmaids and groomsmen, the ushers, the flower girl and ring bearer.
Rehearsal is not the time for the organist and/or soloist to rehearse their music for the wedding. It is beneficial for them to be at the wedding rehearsal to be familiar with the order of service.
Remember that this rehearsal is taking place in the sanctuary. Decorum in keeping with the surroundings is expected. The order of service should be arranged and discussed with the Pastor(s) and organist prior to rehearsal.
Decorations
All floral decorations and candles must be provided by the bridal party. Calvary has a pair of seven candle candelabra and a Unity candle holder that may be used by the wedding party.
The church may be decorated the day before the wedding if approved and no conflicting events are scheduled at Calvary. The wedding coordinator will make arrangements with you to have the church open and available.
No decorations shall be fastened to the woodwork or walls of the chancel, nave, or fellowship hall.
Flowers left on a Friday or Saturday for use at the church services will be greatly appreciated. Please indicate to the Pastor(s) if flowers will be left for worship services.
Seasonal decorations may be present in the Sanctuary and Narthex. Decisions relating to those decorations should be made in consultation with the wedding coordinator.
Photographs
The Sanctuary is available to you for photographs prior to the ceremony, ending approximately forty-five minutes before the ceremony begins. Most couples find it helpful to have their pictures taken before the wedding. You may bring snacks and light refreshments for your wedding party during the time of picture taking. Food and drink are limited to the Fellowship Hall and Kitchen.
Videotaping cameras may only be set up in the balcony; please explain this early to the people you hire so as to avoid embarrassment or disappointment on the day of the wedding. Flash pictures are not to be taken during the wedding ceremony (Invocation through Benediction).
Printed Programs
The printing of programs, if used, is the responsibility of the couple. A sample order of service is included in the back of this booklet, however the Pastor(s) is very willing to discuss any alterations you desire. Programs should be available at the rehearsal prior to the wedding.
The Mary Room
This is a wonderful place for the bridal party to dress for the wedding ceremony. Remember - no food or beverage allowed in this room. Be sure to have someone assigned to remove all clothing and personal items from this room immediately following the ceremony (or reception if held at the church).
The Wedding Reception
Calvary Lutheran's facilities are available for wedding receptions.
If the reception will be held at Calvary, the wedding coordinator will work on the details with you. All food is to be provided by the wedding party. When a reception is served by the Calvary Women, a fee will be charged based on number of people served. When a reception is catered and served by the caterers, a member of Calvary must be present to supervise the use of the kitchen and it's equipment. A fee will be charged for that supervision.
Equipment
A variety of articles are available for use during the wedding ceremony and reception. The wedding coordinator will review your needs and determine availability of items.
Statement of Charges: Charges will be reviewed with you during your initial meeting with the wedding coordinator. Please be sure to receive a Wedding Use Request Form for an estimate of expenses.
Calvary Trivia
No dishes or equipment are to be removed from the church.
No alcoholic beverages are allowed to be served or consumed on the church premises. Those not adhering to this rule at rehearsal, before or after the ceremony, or at the reception will be required to leave the church premises.
Smoking is not permitted anywhere in the church building.
Parties using the church are responsible for all damages and breakage.
No red punch is allowed to be served at the reception.
Throwing of birdseed, confetti, or rice on church property is not allowed.
After the wedding ...be sure someone is assigned to pick up all gifts, clothing, flowers, decorations, food, and personal items. All items must be removed from the church immediately following the ceremony/reception.
Calvary Lutheran Church is not responsible for any lost or stolen items.
Calvary Council approval must be received for all member and non-member use of the church facilities (allow time for this to be done at regular council meeting the second Tuesday of each month).
Sample Program
The Wedding Ceremony of
Lena Ingrid Swenson and Ole Hans Olson
Calvary Lutheran Church, Perham, Minnesota
Saturday, June 11, 2008, 3:00 p.m.
Gathering
Prelude
Lighting of Candles (Optional)
Processional
Declaration of Intention
Prayer of the Day
Word
Scripture Lessons (usually two or three)
The Wedding Message
Hymn of the Day (or Solo)
Marriage
Marriage Vows
Giving of Rings
Lighting of Unity Candle (optional)
Solo
Acclamation
Marriage Blessing
Prayers
(Communion may be added here)
Lord's Prayer
Sending
Sharing of the Peace (optional)
Blessing
Presentation of Couple
Recessional
Postlude
"Trumpet Voluntary"
"Wedding Song"
“God's Love"
WEDDING TEXTS
We ask that as you prepare for your wedding, that you use this list as a simple Bible study and that you print out and then look up and make some notes about each one of these scriptures. You should know that I Corinthians 13 is not the only text you can use. In fact, it is so overused that we don’t think it is a good choice. When you come to your second meeting with the pastor we ask that you have spent some serious time with this list choosing which scripture will be very appropriate to you and your own special relationship, faith and calling.
Psalm 9:1-2
Psalm 33
Psalm 100
Psalm 117
Psalm 127
Psalm 128
Psalm 136
Psalm 150
Genesis 1: 26-31
Genesis 2: 18-24
Song of Solomon 2:8-12
Song of Solomon 2: 10-13
Song of Solomon 8: 6-7
Isaiah 63: 7-9
Matthew 19: 4-6
Mark 10: 42-45
I Corinthians 13
Ephesians 5: 21-33
Philippians 4: 4-7
Mark 10: 42-45
John 2: 1-10
John 15: 9-12
1 John 4: 7-12
Colossians 3:12-17
Song of Solomon 8:7
Ruth 1:16
Jeremiah 29:11
Romans 12:9-12
I Corinthians 13:4-8a
I John 4: 7-8
Mark 10: 6-9
Sample Wedding Vows
I, name, take you, name, to be my wife/husband from this day forward, to join with you and share all that is to come, and I promise to be faithful to you until death parts us.
In the presence of God and this community,
I, name, take you, name, to be my wife/husband;
To have and to hold from this day forward,
In joy and in sorrow, in plenty and in want, in sickness and in health, \
To love and to cherish, as long as we both shall live.
This is my solemn vow.
(Name) I take you to be my wife (husband)
From this time onward,
To join with you
And to share all that is to come,
To give and to receive
To speak and to listen
To inspire and to respond
And in all circumstances of our life together
To be loyal to you with my whole life
And with all my being.
I, (name), do take you, (name)
To be the husband/wife of my days
The companion of my house, the father/mother of my children
The friend of my life. We shall bear together
Whatever trouble and sorrow Life may lay upon us
And we shall share together
Whatever good and joyful things life may bring us.
With these words and all the words of my heart I marry you.
And bind my life to yours,
In the presence of God and this congregation,
I (name) take you (name) to be my wife/husband
For better or worse, for richer for poorer,
in sickness and in health
to love and to cherish until death parts us.
This is my solemn vow.
I take you, (name), to be my wife/husband,
and these things promise you:
I will be faithful to you
And honest with you;
I will respect, trust, help, care for you;
I will share my life with you
I will forgive you as we have been forgiven;
And I will try with you
To better understand ourselves,
The world, and God;
Through the best and the worst
Of what is to come
As long as we live.
I take you (name) to be my husband/wife
I thank God for you and for this moment
When we celebrate our love
And the beginning of life together.
Throughout the years
I shall cherish and trust you
Be honest and faithful to you
At all times.
I shall seek to encourage and inspire you
And in both joy and sorrow
I shall hold you close
And tell you that I love you.
Our place shall be one place
Our life one live,
Our love one love,
For I shall share with you
All I have
And all I am unto eternity.
I, (name), give myself to you, (name)
To be your husband/wife.
I promise to love you with all that is in me,
To encourage you in your spiritual and emotional growth,
To support whatever you do,
And to cherish all that you are.
I (name), do take you, (name) to be my wife/husband,
And do in the presence of God
And before this congregation,
Promise and covenant
To be a loving and faithful husband/wife
Unto you, so long as we both shall live.
(Name), I take you to be my wedded husband/wife
to have and to hold from this day forward,
for better, for worse,
for richer, for poorer,
in sickness and in health,
to love and to cherish,
so long as we both shall live.
With my whole heart
And with my complete devotion,
I pledge my love to you.
GIVING OF RINGS
Name, I give you this ring as a sign of my love and faithfulness.
Or
Name, I give you this ring as a symbol of my vow.
With all that I am, and all that I have, I honor you,
In the name of the Father,
And of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.